[情報] 英國Daily Mail: 我無力挽回自己了 我完了
看板KingofPop (麥可傑克森 - Michael Jackson)作者yiersan (一二三)時間16年前 (2009/06/28 14:30)推噓7(7推 0噓 16→)留言23則, 12人參與討論串1/5 (看更多)
這位記者去年12月曾經發表說明,MJ只有6個月可活,且因他天生的肺部問題根本
不可能再繼續唱歌。這篇新的報導雖然看了以後很不忍心,但我覺得論點大部分應該是
正確的。MJ覺得自己對不起他的歌迷,因為他本來只想作10場,但身邊的寄生蟲逼著
他承諾50場。最後MJ認為自己事業生活已經失控,只好用大量藥物麻醉自己。
最後MJ一直做在舞臺上表演很爛的噩夢。這篇我覺得有心人可以整篇幫鄉民翻譯。
另外根據這位記者,MJ有留下200未發表的歌曲給他的三位小孩。
http://tinyurl.com/lk7y5x
'I'm better off dead. I'm done': How Michael Jackson predicted his death six
months ago
By Ian Halperin
Last updated at 2:08 AM on 28th June 2009
* Genetic condition had ruined his lungs and left him unable to sing
* He became so skeletal, doctors believed he was anorexic
* He had nightmares about being murdered – and wanted to die
* He used swine flu as an excuse to avoid coming to England
* He thought he was agreeing to 10 concerts – it was 50
Whatever the final autopsy results reveal, it was greed that killed Michael
Jackson. Had he not been driven – by a cabal of bankers, agents, doctors and
advisers – to commit to the gruelling 50 concerts in London’s O2 Arena, I
believe he would still be alive today.
During the last weeks and months of his life, Jackson made desperate attempts
to prepare for the concert series scheduled for next month – a series that
would have earned millions for the singer and his entourage, but which he
could never have completed, not mentally, and not physically.
Michael knew it and his advisers knew it. Anyone who caught even a fleeting
glimpse of the frail old man hiding beneath the costumes and cosmetics would
have understood that the London tour was madness. For Michael Jackson, it was
fatal.
I had more than a glimpse of the real Michael; as an award-winning freelance
journalist and film-maker, I spent more than five years inside his ‘camp’.
Many in his entourage spoke frankly to me – and that made it possible for me
to write authoritatively last December that Michael had six months to live, a
claim that, at the time, his official spokesman, Dr Tohme Tohme, called a ‘
complete fabrication’. The singer, he told the world, was in ‘fine health’
. Six months and one day later, Jackson was dead.
Some liked to snigger at his public image, and it is true that flamboyant
clothes and bizarre make-up made for a comic grotesque; yet without them, his
appearance was distressing; with skin blemishes, thinning hair and
discoloured fingernails.
I had established beyond doubt, for example, that Jackson relied on an
extensive collection of wigs to hide his greying hair. Shorn of their
luxuriance, the Peter Pan of Neverland cut a skeletal figure.
It was clear that he was in no condition to do a single concert, let alone
50. He could no longer sing, for a start. On some days he could barely talk.
He could no longer dance. Disaster was looming in London and, in the opinion
of his closest confidantes, he was feeling suicidal.
To understand why a singer of Jackson’s fragility would even think about
travelling to London, we need to go back to June 13, 2005, when my
involvement in his story began.
As a breaking news alert flashed on CNN announcing that the jury had reached
a verdict in Jackson’s trial for allegedly molesting 13-year-old Gavin
Arvizo at his Neverland Ranch in California, I knew that history had been
made but that Michael Jackson had been broken – irrevocably so, as it proved.
Nor was it the first time that Michael had been accused of impropriety with
young boys. Little more than a decade earlier, another 13-year-old, Jordan
Chandler, made similar accusations in a case that was eventually settled
before trial – but not before the damage had been done to Jackson’s
reputation.
Michael had not helped his case. Appearing in a documentary with British
broadcaster Martin Bashir, he not only admitted that he liked to share a bed
with teenagers, mainly boys, in pyjamas, but showed no sign of understanding
why anyone might be legitimately concerned.
I had started my investigation convinced that Jackson was guilty. By the end,
I no longer believed that.
I could not find a single shred of evidence suggesting that Jackson had
molested a child. But I found significant evidence demonstrating that most,
if not all, of his accusers lacked credibility and were motivated primarily
by money.
Jackson also deserved much of the blame, of course. Continuing to share a bed
with children even after the suspicions surfaced bordered on criminal
stupidity.
He was also playing a truly dangerous game. It is clear to me that Michael
was homosexual and that his taste was for young men, albeit not as young as
Jordan Chandler or Gavin Arvizo.
In the course of my investigations, I spoke to two of his gay lovers, one a
Hollywood waiter, the other an aspiring actor. The waiter had remained
friends, perhaps more, with the singer until his death last week. He had
served Jackson at a restaurant, Jackson made his interest plain and the two
slept together the following night. According to the waiter, Jackson fell in
love.
The actor, who has been given solid but uninspiring film parts, saw Jackson
in the middle of 2007. He told me they had spent nearly every night together
during their affair – an easy claim to make, you might think. But this lover
produced corroboration in the form of photographs of the two of them
together, and a witness.
Other witnesses speak of strings of young men visiting his house at all
hours, even in the period of his decline. Some stayed overnight.
When Jackson lived in Las Vegas, one of his closest aides told how he would
sneak off to a ‘grungy, rat-infested’ motel – often dressed as a woman to
disguise his identity – to meet a male construction worker he had fallen in
love with.
Jackson was acquitted in the Arvizo case, dramatically so, but the effect on
his mental state was ruinous. Sources close to him suggest he was close to
complete nervous breakdown.Michael had not helped his case. Appearing in a documentary with British
broadcaster Martin Bashir, he not only admitted that he liked to share a bed
with teenagers, mainly boys, in pyjamas, but showed no sign of understanding
why anyone might be legitimately concerned.
The ordeal had left him physically shattered, too. One of my sources
suggested that he might already have had a genetic condition I had never
previously come across, called Alpha-1 antitrypsin deficiency – the lack of
a protein that can help protect the lungs.
Although up to 100,000 Americans are severely affected by it, it is an
under-recognised condition. Michael was receiving regular injections of
Alpha-1 antitrypsin derived from human plasma. The treatment is said to be
remarkably effective and can enable the sufferer to lead a normal life.
But the disease can cause respiratory problems and, in severe cases,
emphysema. Could this be why Jackson had for years been wearing a surgical
mask in public, to protect his lungs from the ravages of the disease? Or why,
from time to time, he resorted to a wheelchair? When I returned to my source
inside the Jackson camp for confirmation, he said: ‘Yeah, that’s what he’s
got. He’s in bad shape. They’re worried that he might need a lung
transplant but he may be too weak.
‘Some days he can hardly see and he’s having a lot of trouble walking.’
Even Michael Jackson’s legendary wealth was in sharp decline. Just a few
days before he announced his 50-concert comeback at the O2 Arena, one of my
sources told me Jackson had been offered £1.8million to perform at a party
for a Russian billionaire on the Black Sea.
‘Is he up to it?’ I had asked.
‘He has no choice. He needs the money. His people are pushing him hard,’
said the source.
Could he even stand on a stage for an hour concert?
‘He can stand. The treatments have been successful. He can even dance once
he gets in better shape. He just can’t sing,’ said the aide, adding that
Jackson would have to lip-synch to get through the performance. ‘Nobody will
care, as long as he shows up and moonwalks.’
He also revealed Jackson had been offered well over £60million to play Las
Vegas for six months. ‘He said no, but his people are trying to force it on
him. He’s that close to losing everything,’ said the source.
michael jackson this is it tour
Forced: Michael Jackson thought he was agreeing to 10 concerts at London's O2
Arena not 50
Indeed, by all accounts Jackson’s finances were in a shambles. The Arvizo
trial itself was a relative bargain, costing a little more than £18million
in legal bills.
But the damage to his career, already in trouble before the charges, was
incalculable. After the Arvizo trial, a Bahraini sheikh allowed Jackson to
stay in his palace, underwriting his lavish lifestyle. But a few years later,
the prince sued his former guest, demanding repayment for his hospitality.
Jackson claimed he thought it had been a gift.
Roger Friedman, a TV journalist, said: ‘For one year, the prince underwrote
Jackson’s life in Bahrain – everything including accommodation, guests,
security and transportation. And what did Jackson do? He left for Japan and
then Ireland. He took the money and moonwalked right out the door. This is
the real Michael Jackson. He has never returned a phone call from the prince
since he left Bahrain.’
Although Jackson settled with the sheikh on the eve of the trial that would
have aired his financial dirty laundry, the settlement only put him that much
deeper into the hole. A hole that kept getting bigger, but that was
guaranteed by Jackson’s half ownership of the copyrights to The Beatles
catalogue. He owned them in a joint venture with record company Sony, which
have kept him from bankruptcy.
‘Jackson is in hock to Sony for hundreds of millions,’ a source told me a
couple of months ago. ‘No bank will give him any money so Sony have been
paying his bills.
‘The trouble is that he hasn’t been meeting his obligations. Sony have been
in a position for more than a year where it can repossess Michael’s share of
the [Beatles] catalogue. That’s always been Sony’s dream scenario, full
ownership.
‘But they don’t want to do it as they’re afraid of a backlash from his
fans. Their nightmare is an organised 'boycott Sony' movement worldwide,
which could prove hugely costly. It is the only thing standing between
Michael and bankruptcy.’
The source aid at the time that the scheduled London concerts wouldn’t clear
Jackson’s debts – estimated at almost £242million – but they would allow
him to get them under control and get him out of default with Sony.
According to two sources in Jackson’s camp, the singer put in place a
contingency plan to ensure his children would be well taken care of in the
event of bankruptcy.
‘He has as many as 200 unpublished songs that he is planning to leave behind
for his children when he dies. They can’t be touched by the creditors, but
they could be worth as much as £60million that will ensure his kids a
comfortable existence no matter what happens,’ one of his collaborators
revealed.
But for the circle of handlers who surrounded Jackson during his final years,
their golden goose could not be allowed to run dry. Bankruptcy was not an
option.
These, after all, were not the handlers who had seen him through the
aftermath of the Arvizo trial and who had been protecting his fragile
emotional health to the best of their ability. They were gone, and a new set
of advisers was in place.
The clearout had apparently been engineered by his children’s nanny, Grace
Rwaramba, who was gaining considerable influence over Jackson and his affairs
and has been described as the ‘queen bee’ by those around Jackson.
Rwaramba had ties to the black militant organisation, the Nation of Islam,
and its controversial leader, Louis Farrakhan, whom she enlisted for help in
running Jackson’s affairs.
Before long, the Nation was supplying Jackson’s security detail and Farrakhan
’s son-in-law, Leonard Muhammad, was appointed as Jackson’s business
manager, though his role has lessened significantly in recent years.
In late 2008, a shadowy figure who called himself Dr Tohme Tohme suddenly
emerged as Jackson’s ‘official spokesman’.
Tohme has been alternately described as a Saudi Arabian billionaire and an
orthopaedic surgeon, but he is actually a Lebanese businessman who does not
have a medical licence. At one point, Tohme claimed he was an ambassador at
large for Senegal, but the Senegalese embassy said they had never heard of
him.
Tohme’s own ties to the Nation of Islam came to light in March 2009, when
New York auctioneer Darren Julien was conducting an auction of Michael
Jackson memorabilia.
Julien filed an affidavit in Los Angeles Superior Court that month in which
he described a meeting he had with Tohme’s business partner, James R.
Weller. According to Julien’s account, ‘Weller said if we refused to
postpone [the auction], we would be in danger from 'Farrakhan and the Nation
of Islam; those people are very protective of Michael'.
He told us that Dr Tohme and Michael Jackson wanted to give the message to us
that 'our lives are at stake and there will be bloodshed'.’
A month after these alleged threats, Tohme accompanied Jackson to a meeting
at a Las Vegas hotel with Randy Phillips, chief executive of the AEG Group,
to finalise plans for Jackson’s return to the concert stage.
Jackson’s handlers had twice before said no to Phillips. This time, with
Tohme acting as his confidant, Jackson left the room agreeing to perform ten
concerts at the O2.
Before long, however, ten concerts had turned into 50 and the potential
revenues had skyrocketed. ‘The vultures who were pulling his strings somehow
managed to put this concert extravaganza together behind his back, then
presented it to him as a fait accompli,’ said one aide.
‘The money was just unbelievable and all his financial people were telling
him he was facing bankruptcy. But Michael still resisted. He didn’t think he
could pull it off.’
Eventually, they wore him down, the aide explained, but not with the money
argument.
‘They told him that this would be the greatest comeback the world had ever
known. That’s what convinced him. He thought if he could emerge triumphantly
from the success of these concerts, he could be the King again.’
The financial details of the O2 concerts are still murky, though various
sources have revealed that Jackson was paid as much as £10million in
advance, most of which went to the middlemen. But Jackson could have received
as much as £100million had the concerts gone ahead.
It is worth noting that the O2 Arena has the most sophisticated lip synching
technology in the world – a particular attraction for a singer who can no
longer sing. Had, by some miracle, the concerts gone ahead, Jackson’s
personal contribution could have been limited to just 13 minutes for each
performance. The rest was to have been choreography and lights.
‘We knew it was a disaster waiting to happen,’ said one aide. ‘I don’t
think anybody predicted it would actually kill him but nobody believed he
would end up performing.’
Their doubts were underscored when Jackson collapsed during only his second
rehearsal.
‘Collapse might be overstating it,’ said the aide. ‘He needed medical
attention and couldn’t go on. I’m not sure what caused it.’
Meanwhile, everybody around him noticed that Jackson had lost an astonishing
amount of weight in recent months. His medical team even believed he was
anorexic.
‘He goes days at a time hardly eating a thing and at one point his doctor
was asking people if he had been throwing up after meals,’ one staff member
told me in May.
‘He suspected bulimia but when we said he hardly eats any meals, the doc
thought it was probably anorexia. He seemed alarmed and at one point said,
'People die from that all the time. You’ve got to get him to eat.'’
Indeed, one known consequence of anorexia is cardiac arrest.
After spotting him leave one rehearsal, Fox News reported that ‘Michael
Jackson’s skeletal physique is so bad that he might not be able to moonwalk
any more’.
On May 20 this year, AEG suddenly announced that the first London shows had
been delayed for five days while the remainder had been pushed back until
March 2010. At the time, they denied that the postponements were
health-related, explaining that they needed more time to mount the
technically complex production, though scepticism immediately erupted. It was
well placed.
Behind the scenes, Jackson was in rapid decline. According to a member of his
staff, he was ‘terrified’ at the prospect of the London concerts.
‘He wasn’t eating, he wasn’t sleeping and, when he did sleep, he had
nightmares that he was going to be murdered. He was deeply worried that he
was going to disappoint his fans. He even said something that made me briefly
think he was suicidal. He said he thought he’d die before doing the London
concerts.
‘He said he was worried that he was going to end up like Elvis. He was
always comparing himself to Elvis, but there was something in his tone that
made me think that he wanted to die, he was tired of life. He gave up. His
voice and dance moves weren’t there any more. I think maybe he wanted to die
rather than embarrass himself on stage.’
The most obvious comparison between the King of Pop and the King of Rock ’n’
Roll was their prescription drug habits, which in Jackson’s case had
significantly intensified in his final months.
‘He is surrounded by enablers,’ said one aide. ‘We should be stopping him
before he kills himself, but we just sit by and watch him medicate himself
into oblivion.’
Jackson could count on an array of doctors to write him prescriptions without
asking too many questions if he complained of ‘pain’. He was particularly
fond of OxyContin, nicknamed ‘Hillbilly heroin’, which gave an instant
high, although he did not take it on a daily basis.
According to the aide, painkillers are not the only drugs Jackson took.
‘He pops Demerol and morphine, sure, apparently going back to the time in
1984 when he burned himself during the Pepsi commercial, but there’s also
some kind of psychiatric medication. One of his brothers once told me he was
diagnosed with schizophrenia when he was younger, so it may be to treat that.
’
His aides weren’t the only ones who recognised that a 50-concert run was
foolhardy. In May, Jackson himself reportedly addressed fans as he left his
Burbank rehearsal studio.
‘Thank you for your love and support,’ he told them. ‘I want you guys to
know I love you very much.
'I don’t know how I’m going to do 50 shows. I’m not a big eater. I need to
put some weight on. I’m really angry with them booking me up to do 50 shows.
I only wanted to do ten.’
One of his former employees was particularly struck by Jackson’s wording
that day. ‘The way he was talking, it’s like he’s not in control over his
own life any more,’ she told me earlier this month. ‘It sounds like
somebody else is pulling his strings and telling him what to do. Someone
wants him dead.
'They keep feeding him pills like candy. They are trying to push him over the
edge. He needs serious help. The people around him will kill him.’
As the London concerts approached, something was clearly wrong. Jackson had
vowed to travel to England at least eight weeks before his first shows, but
he kept putting it off.
‘To be honest, I never thought Michael would set foot on a concert stage
ever again,’ said one aide, choking back tears on the evening of his death.
‘This was not only predictable, this was inevitable.’
On June 21, Jackson told my contact that he wanted to die. He said that he
didn’t have what it would take to perform any more because he had lost his
voice and dance moves.
‘It’s not working out,’ Jackson said. ‘I’m better off dead. I don’t
have anywhere left to turn. I’m done.’
Michael’s closest confidante told me just two hours after he died that ‘
Michael was tired of living. He was a complete wreck for years and now he can
finally be in a better place. People around him fed him drugs to keep him on
their side. They should be held accountable.’
Michael Jackson was undoubtedly a deeply troubled and lonely man. Throughout
my investigation, I was torn between compassion and anger, sorrow and empathy.
Even his legacy is problematic. As I have already revealed, he has bequeathed
up to 200 original songs to his three children, Prince Michael, aged 12,
Paris Katherine, 11, and Prince Michael II (also known as Blanket), seven. It
is a wonderful gift.
Yet I can reveal that his will, not as yet made public, demands that the
three of them remain with Jackson’s 79-year-old mother Katherine in
California. It promises an ugly row.
Ex-wife Deborah Rowe, the mother of the eldest two, has already made it clear
to her legal team that she wants her children in her custody, immediately.
The mother of the third child has never been identified. I fully expect that
it will emerge that the children had a ‘test tube’ conception, a claim
already made by Deborah Rowe.
Michael Jackson may very well have been the most talented performer of his
generation, but for 15 years that fact has been lost to a generation who may
remember him only as a grotesque caricature who liked to share his bed with
little boys. Now that he’s gone, maybe it’s time to shelve the suspicions
and appreciate the music.
--
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