[閒聊] Chester關於憂鬱症的一段訪談...

看板LinkinPark作者max6060789 (人性觀察家)時間6年前 (2017/07/21 15:35)推噓23(23推 0噓 7→)

留言30則, 21人參與討論串1/2 (看更多)

這段訪談其實就很清楚Chester自殺的內心想法了 I was just like Fuck the world Not like ,i need the break Honestly like , Fuck all of you 希望Chester能在天國好走因為一些揮不去的傷痛而罹患憂鬱症的我在看到 linkin park 官方釋出的一段最近的訪問我完全能理解他罹患上蠻重的憂鬱症因為這段對我來說也很重要所以我打成逐字稿給自己也給一些低潮的看或許你會有很多的共鳴 I was just like Fuck the world Not like ,i need the break Honestly like , Fuck all of you like everybody and everything and i don't like do anything anymore Nothing makes me happy i don't like anyone i even told one of my therapists at one point i said i don't want to feel anything None of us immune from you know , just shit happened to you , not to you but just kind of making poor choices or being human. there's always that element and for me , life got really weired, and really hard all at one time there was few times over the last couple years ,where i was just ready to thro w in the towel ,and i just kind of give up on everything but i found that, for me most of my suffering is self inflicted. it's not like its coming from some external source ,that's making me feel that way No one can make you feel anything Its what you think about internally that make you feel things, like you are the only person that makes you feel anything. And so i know , that i have this pattern of getting into these kind of thought and this actions and choices . I have always had this kind of depressive side , and i think that's something, some people my not have gone down the road of injecting on the streets and lik e you know that kind of stuff, so they think "Oh , my story's not that bad" So dude ,no,may, if you are here , if you're here , its that bad . Its nothing spicial about that guy who is living on the street, and the person who's just a binge drinker like three times a month. Your life's fuck up ,and you realize that there is something , you got to do a bout it , and its just as hard on either end ,but each one is just as relevant as the next , and you don't have to know somebody to have an intimate experie nce with them ,and also you don't have to know like someone to feel safe to ta lk to them . Any group of people can get together and just be like "Hey ! were gonna get re al in here ,like lets get real" ,and just be vulnerable , say whatever's going on ,and be accepted, and walk out the room and then feel great. Chester之前就嘗試過自殺，但或許一些因素，不管是家庭、好友也好，相信他最後所說的他只要這群能同理他的人聚在一起，才讓他感到真實，而這其中我覺得也包括Chris好友，而他的精神支柱也是能讓他感受到所謂真實一面的他，在五月自殺了，美國時間7月20號是Chirs的生日，而這天Chester撐不住了，還是難過的上吊自殺了很多人說有勇氣死為什麼沒有勇氣自殺幹，就是一堆這種想法才會一直讓憂鬱症患者找不到自己的棲身之處對我們來說，帶著解不開的傷痛活著，比起死亡更需要勇氣，死亡真的太簡單了 Chester小時候長期被性侵害也不是一兩天的事了有點資深的歌迷應該都懂，他的嘶吼及抒情感人的嗓音，都在發洩他過去的傷痛只是沒有現在這麼憂鬱，我相信他隨著時間過去成為了世界搖滾的知名歌手，娶了漂亮妻子生了6個小孩卻也發現，他的傷沒有好，因此越來越嚴重 Mike其實一直看在眼裡每場live看到mike跟chester的互動就知道他們情同手足，就像家人一樣每場來台的演唱會，甚至是你以Dead By Sunrise名義來華山演唱全到甚至一直到昨天晚上睡不著我還是在聽著他們的新歌 Battle Symphony 半夜因為憂鬱症失眠聽著聽著，凌晨兩點跑出chester上吊自殺的新聞真的是用悲痛不已來形容而我聽的這首Battle Symphony 是你獻給我們最後的戰歌我不知道該怎麼形容這件事情的發生他有個漂亮老婆，無數的錢，6個小孩看似成功走出陰影，因為人總是叫你努力成功，賺大錢好像一切就沒事一樣所有全亞洲的長輩有八成都會跟你這樣說但他敵不過人生陰影最後還是上吊離開人世了回頭看看 Leave out all the rest , Shadow of the day 這兩首歌這是2007年Minutes to Midnigh 這張專輯的兩首歌如今對比起來格外辛酸.... Leave out all the rest, don’t be afraid I’ve taken my beating, I’ve shared what I made 就把其他的都忘了吧！不用擔心這樣做，會有什麼不妥。我已經用盡心力過完我的人生，我也已經分享出我所有努力的成果。 I’m strong on the surface, not all the way through 旁觀的你們認為我是個堅強、成功的人，但其實並非一直如此； I’ve never been perfect, but neither have you 我從不是個完美的人，但旁觀的你們也都不是啊。 Forgetting all the hurt inside you’ve learned to hide so well 你努力忘記那些我無意間對你造成的傷害，那些你學會藏在內心深處、不為人知的傷口。 Pretending someone else can come and save me from myself 我卻只能逼自己相信著，總有一天，會有個人，能把我從自己的牢籠中解放出來。 I can’t be who you are 對不起，我就是無法變得跟你一樣，無法像你那樣思考、生活… Shadow of the day 這首是你最初的心情嗎... I close both locks below the window 我將窗緣的鎖扣上 I close both blinds and turn away 拉上布簾然後轉身 sometimes solutions aren't so simple 有時答案不是這麼簡單 sometimes good-bye's the only way 有時說再見是唯一方式 and the sun will set for you 太陽會為你西沉 the sun will set for you 太陽會為你西沉 and the shadow of the day 而這白晝的黑影 will embrace the world in gray 把整個世界擁抱在灰暗中 and the sun will set for you 太陽會為你西沉 in cards and flowers on your window 在你窗前的花和卡片裡 your friends all plead for you to stay 滿是朋友們要你留下的字句 sometimes beginnings aren't so simple 有時凡事起頭難 sometimes goodbye's the only way 有時說再見是唯一方式致我心中最愛的歌手Chester Bennington... -- ※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc), 來自: 124.109.113.21 ※ 文章網址: https://www.ptt.cc/bbs/LinkinPark/M.1500622521.A.5C3.html

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