Re: [微光] 20060617 張懸＠東吳
※ 引述《nikomedes228 (把自己丟出自己)》之銘言：
: 開場。她步上舞台，坐上高腳椅，看起來沒有笑容有點累。覺得自己似乎在消
: 費她一樣，一股厭惡感催著我離開位置。可能是我想太多我也不知道，可能是太多
: 投射太多想像讓我沒有辦法簡單地自然地好好看一場她的演出，聽她唱歌。但是那
: 種感覺很真實，如同三個月前投稿文學獎時的遲疑。為什麼我就沒有那股決心與勇
: 氣，像Emily Dickinson一樣安靜地寫詩幾乎不發表呢？明知道得獎除了拿獎金來
: 填飽肚子之外其實沒有什麼意義，但自己還是很犯賤地去投稿。需要錢、需要某程
: 度的肯定之外，其實還是想被看見吧。縱使知道自己可能不夠好，但還是希望自己
: 的作品在某個韻腳能夠使人心中發出些微光，給予讀者力量，也反饋回來給自己力
: 量。在台下我一邊腦袋想著這些，一邊自以為地揣測台上的她的無奈、對於這場合
: 又怎麼看待，對於表演這回事又是怎麼想。
自己三八回自己
那時候我想到的是Cat Power的歌I don't blame you
(我一直猜測是寫給Kurt Cobain，不知道是不是如此)
以下附上歌詞
Last time I saw you, you were on stage
Your hair was wild, your eyes were red
And you were in a rage
You were swinging your guitar around.
Cause they wanted to hear that sound
But you didn’t want to play.
And I don’t blame you.
I don’t blame you.
Been around the world, in many situations
Been inside many heads in different positions
But you never wanted them that way.
What a cruel price you thought that you had to pay.
And that for all that shit on stage.
But it never made sense to them anyway,
Could you imagine if when they turned their backs
They were only scratching their heads.
Cause you simply deserve the best.
And I don’t blame you
They said you were the best,
But then they were only kids
Then you would recall the deadly houses you grew up in
Just because they knew your name,
Doesn’t mean they know from where you came
What a sad trick you thought that you had to play.
But I don’t blame you
They never owned it
And you never owed it to them anyway.
I don’t blame you.
--
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