[翻譯](大力感謝佳穎!!!)感恩場心得~
在此我必須說一百次感謝佳穎女神!!
感謝到女神的名號都會自動發出光輝!!!!
不過!!我是絕對不會把中文本文再貼一次的(at式菸)
想看的就去查3XX篇吧(攤手)
畢竟我在招牌bobo式微笑下還是有一顆柔軟如小鹿一般脆弱的心的
重貼那種鬼東西我作不來啦(掩嘴嬌笑)
唔...要怎麼作結啊=口=
管他的
反正就看下面啦 崩潰
Dec. 6, 2008, after five hours drive up to Taipei to feel the last show of
「Love of Siam」, when I was on the way back home and saw those scenes flashed
past by my window, I cried.
I cried so hard with snot and tears, and I’m thinking, the lights were so
bright in the city, the neon lamp of 「PANASONIC」twinkling and floating
high on the building,and and cars were shuttled on the streets, yellow and
soft lights revealed from the Izakaya, but we’re still so lonely. Because
of loneness, we need to accompany mutually and cannot help but gripping and
pulling our love and hurt, however.
So, it was just like that in that night. If there was such a person who knows
about your past and carries the same feeling of loneness, there’s no others’
breath, your thinking are calling, responding that time in the crowded world.
It`s just us, feeling the heart beat of ours only, so we lean together, just
us, what’s wrong about the innocent?
That’s why we love「Love of Siam」so much, it’s only because we’re so
lonely.
Once, in the past, I also hurt my mom badly, so I couldn’t help myself each
time when I saw Sunee crying.
My dad left home when I moved back home from my grandma coincidentally, and
he wouldn’t show up in several weeks. That year, I was eight.
I felt so panic, since I was a child till grew up, I always thought it was my
fault for my dad’s leaving and the divorce, and my mom had to earn our
livings in the debauched place.
I think it’s why I can understand so much when Tong said:「I don’t know」
.Although I do know something in fact, but it seemed that something would
change since I speak it out . I don’t know how to do to make it better to
you? Will the balance be break down rapidly if I decide to do something? Is
it what you really want? Am I qualified to make these choices? Can I bear the
consequence after my decision? I don’t know….Maybe everything is best now,
maybe I couldn’t bear any more if I changed it.
It was so complicated. But I was all alone, and it was just all I wanted to be.
Finally I got the power to embrace my mom, when I felt that I could make it
up for something, I gave up what I liked and forgot the existence of me,
nothing was important that time, all I wanted was helping my mom getting back
to herself again, and I couldn’t load her anymore because of me.
But it was not so easy as I thought, I found myself became more and more
melancholy, I couldn’t attend school and breathe on the train to school,
either. So I started cutting classed. But on the other hand, I pretended to
be normal in front of my mom. I thought if I became stronger that everything
would be better, maybe I wouldn’t have to be afraid of teachers and peer
anymore and made up for those I lost in the past, then went on the same way
of graduating from national university, joining the army and leaving for job
hunting, just like what everybody else did.
But I was dropped out from school, and that was not easy at all.
“What did I do wrong?”
“Was it my punishment?”
“Didn’t I do enough for those times?”
Every words was exactly like Sunee said.
God knows how I collapsed when I saw these words, I deeply hope that
everything would be normal again, but it seemed that I did in the wrong way,
just in the wrong way. But I still love her so much, I just don’t know how.
So is it still necessary to ask me about what the movie means to me? It’s
just like history of my youth, but the grief is gone, as insipid as water,
and they are all over. I can just laugh about my past, but to the movie,
I can't.
I can understand now it's all about love for those happened in the past, no
matter how I decided. Maybe we have to be parted and disagree with something,
but it’s all because of love. Love connects us together, no mater how far we
are or how different we expect with each other, as long as there’s love,
there’s hope. It's just like that, right? as the lyric describe !
Chok Dee, this is what I want to say eventually.
Chok Dee, 「Love of Siam」.
--
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