[新聞] Questionnaire: Oasis' Noel Gallagher
Questionnaire: Oasis' Noel Gallagher
By Cam Lindsay
November 02, 2006
CL: What are your current fixations?
NG: Well I’m really into the Kasabian album, but I’ve just got
an album in New York by a guy called M. Ward, it’s called Post-War.
Fookin’ hell man. I’ve never heard this guy before, and I was
doing a photo shoot, as us rock stars generally do, and some guy
was playing it in the background. I was like, “What’s that
fookin’ music?” And he’s like, [adopts American accent] “Dude,
it’s M. Ward.” One of the best albums I’ve ever heard actually.
（Who the fook is M. Ward?!）
CL: Why do you live where you do?
NG: Why do I live in London? Because it’s the centre of the
universe, young man. I think it’s everybody’s right and duty,
if they’re not gonna leave the country that they live in, is to
at least live in the capital because it’s the biggest fookin’
city. That’s not strictly true, because you wouldn’t go live in
Washington if you were in America. I wouldn’t anyways. London’s
the capital of Europe — it’s one of the great six, seven cities
of the world. I came for the weekend in 1994 and I’ve never been
back to Manchester.
（別忘了以後老了要回曼城定居唷！）
CL: What has been your most memorable or inspirational gig and why?
NG: Can I pick two that I’ve attended? One was in 1992 at a place
called G-Mex in Manchester and it was U2, Public Enemy and Kraftwerk
on the same bill. Fookin’ dig that. It was on U2’s Zoo TV tour and
it was mind-blowing. I wasn’t even in a band at that point, but it
was like, “When I get in a fookin’ band that’s how I’m fookin’
havin’ it.” The second gig was about three years ago when Neil Young
was doing his solo acoustic tour of Greendale. It was just him, an
acoustic guitar and his mouth organ at the Hammersmith Apollo in
London and it was just fookin’ outrageous. He played the whole
album from start to finish and you kind of sit there watching him
and think, “Fookin’ hell man, I haven’t made it yet.” D’ya know
what I mean? He’s the master. And then of course, true to form, you
go out and buy the album and it’s absolute dog shit. [The movie] is
fookin’ dreadful. I kind of like Neil Young just because he’s fookin’
punk rock, he and Dylan. Crazy old dudes man
CL: What have been your career highs and lows?
NG: Career high, I guess, is playing at Maine Road in Manchester
because it was the grounds of the football team I’ve supported
since I was a child [Manchester City FC]. It was the first stadium
we played and it was amazing. It was so inconceivable that a kid
from around the corner from the football ground would get to play
that. And a career low? I don’t know because they’re all part of
the story, so they’ve added something in a weird kind of way.
（City 'til I die!）
CL: What’s the meanest thing ever said to you before, during or
after a gig?
NG: During? I don’t fookin’ listen to what any of those idiots
have got to say during a gig. But Lars Ulrich came to see us one
night — we tune our own guitars up because we’re still capable
of doing that — and he was like, [adopts perfect Ulrich accent]
“F-Fuck, you know, you know you guys should really fuckin’ get
one of your fuckin’ road crew to tune your guitars. The fuckin’
spaces in between the songs are too long.” And it’s just like,
“Look man, I don’t know if anyone’s ever pointed this out to
you before, but you’re the fookin’ drummer in Metallica. Now
you fookin’ get on with that and leave the rest of it to us.”
CL: What should everyone shut up about?
NG: George Bush, I guess. That’s kind of a lame thing to say
though. I mean he’s a scary idiot, everybody knows that, don’t
they? So just let him get on with it. He’s not gonna be around in
two years anyway, is he? Thank the lord.
CL: What traits do you most like and most dislike about yourself?
NG: What I most dislike about myself is the fact that I think I’m
capable of achieving anything. If somebody came up to me and said,
“We’re just having a bet over there and my mate reckons that you
couldn’t swim the English Channel.” And I’d say, “Really? Gimme
the fookin’ trunks!” Now I can’t swim, but I’d still give it a
go. Plus, I also interrupt people a lot. That annoys me. I love the
fact that I’ve managed to generate myself an extraordinary amount
of cash. I really am very proud of that… because it allows me to
interrupt people.
CL: What advice should you have taken, but did not?
NG: Don’t fookin’ join your brother’s band. And this is my
advice to people: if you’re ever gonna join a band, don’t have
any family members in it. It’s wrong. The Everly Brothers and the
Kinks will tell you the same fookin’ thing. It always ends in tears.
Always.
（XDD ）
CL: What would make you kick someone out of your band and/or bed,
and have you?
NG: Well, there’s been a healthy turnover of band members, as you
probably know. It doesn’t take much to get you fired in Oasis. Not
turning up for band meetings is an instant dismissal. And kick
someone out of bed? I guess if I was hungry or not and I needed
feeding. “Just get on with my fookin’ bacon sandwiches and shut
up!” Although, I’ve never done that before in my entire life, you
see. I guess any form of flatulence. That would be wrong.
CL: What do you think of when you think of Canada?
NG: I think of being absolutely freezing fookin’ cold. And I also
think of this fookin’ weird, weird French influence. What’s that
all about? What business have they got over there? Why French? I was
in a Dunkin Donuts in Canada, and the menu was in French — the whole
thing, right. And I asked the woman for a coffee, and she only spoke
French. Now, I’ve taken a lot of drugs in my time mate, but I’ve got
to say that the single most frightening experience of my life was
thinking, “I could have swore I was fookin’ in Canada when I got
off that tour bus. And now I’m in… am I? No. I don’t know.” And
then I said to the woman, “You can speak English, can’t you?” And
I think she was getting annoyed that I was being a bit rude by that
point, because she was only speaking French. I was going, “I know you
can speak English. We’re in Canada. And I know you understand what I’m
saying.” I may have brought up something about the war and then left.
CL: What is your vital daily ritual?
NG: A cup of very strong tea and a Marlboro Light in the morning.
Gotta have that. And at least two hours from the point of opening one’s
eyes to the point of getting ready for one’s business. Gotta be two
hours. I can’t be getting up and going straight to practice. That’s
out of order.
CL: What are your feelings on piracy, internet or otherwise?
NG: See, I like pirates. That’d be a good occupation, wouldn’t it?
I’d like to have been a pirate, if I wasn’t a rock star. Some might
say pirates are earlier day rock stars. Of course, on the sea. Fook
internet piracy. How boring’s that? I just don’t think I have an
opinion on that. We’ll leave that to Lars Ulrich. Make an arse of
yourself. Hey, if it’s out there for free and you can find it, then
good for you. To be quite honest, between me and you, can I say this
off the record? I’ve got enough money. I don’t need any more. Lars
Ulrich has got enough money. He don’t need anymore. Keith Richards
or Paul McCartney have got more money than sense — look at the way
they dress. It’s blatantly evident. We’re well paid, us successful
people.
CL: What was your most memorable day job?
NG: Being a roadie [for the Inspiral Carpets]. It’s almost up there
with being a rock star. In fact, it’s less hassle than being a rock
star, but you don’t get paid as much.
CL: How do you spoil yourself?
NG: I own a lot of guitars, and if I see one I’ll just buy it. I
own lots of shoes. Shoes are important. Since I don’t take drugs
anymore, I have a real weakness for guitars and sunglasses.
CL: If I wasn’t playing music I would be...
NG: I guess I’d still be a roadie. I’d be setting guitars up for
playing music.
CL: What makes you want to take it off and get it on?
NG: What does that mean? Get naked and start fooking goblins? I
dunno, Viagra?
CL: What has been your strangest celebrity encounter?
NG: Well, I’m one of the rare breed of rock’n’rollers who I
actually does my own shopping. You can catch me at various
supermarkets round the west end, buyin’ various household
appliances and bits of food, stuff like that. So I kind of mix
quite well with the general public, and I don’t mind rubbing
shoulders with the mere mortals in the street. I don’t consider
myself to be a celebrity. It doesn’t freak me out going to buy a
pint of milk. Not like Elton John or Robbie Williams — I don’t
lock myself way from society and then claim that people don’t
understand me. But, have you met Lars Ulrich? Although he’s a
fookin’ geezer and I do love him, he’s a strange character. A
strange, strange man. I met William Shatner once, in a lift. He
got in a lift we were in and we actually did resist the urge as
he pushed the button to his floor, to say, you know what I’m gonna
say, don’t you? I don’t need to say it. But we all burst out
laughing because we all wanted to say it. You know he’s a midget,
and he was kind of looking at us and said, [Adopting a Shatner
accent] “Are you in some kind of band?” Well, what? What does
that fookin’ mean? We’re in a band. And then he went, “You look
like the Doors.” Which one of us exactly?! Who looks like fookin’
Jim Morrison? D’ya know what I mean? “I’m not being Ray Manzarek,”
that’s what I said. “Fook that! And I’m certainly not being Robby
fookin’ Krieger!”
CL: Who would be your ideal dinner guest, living or dead, and what
would you serve them?
NG: Right. What would I serve them? How many can I have? Right,
well let’s see, my dining table seats eight, so that’s me and
my girlfriend, so that’s six guests. Bono, Bill Hicks, John
Lennon… I reckon it’s gonna be a shit party this, innit? Well
let’s just do lunch with five, and ham sandwiches I think. And
if people didn’t eat meat, just fookin’ eat the salad.
CL: What does or did your mom wish you were doing instead?
NG: My mum? She’s fookin’ havin’ a laugh. My mum actually
thought we’d amount to zero, so the fact that I’m a fookin’
major rock star makes her happy. Maybe the fact that I just bought
her a new house has something to do with it.
CL: Given the opportunity to choose, how would you like to die?
NG: I’d like to die in my sleep, take a real coward’s way out.
Or overdose, preferably on heroin.
（跟我想的一樣的死法 :P ）
Exclaim!
http://www.exclaim.ca/index.asp?layid=22&csid1=5833
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頭子的訪問總是落落長又傷當好笑。
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