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Except that Hard Candy's disclosures aren't going to scare any
gargoyles off the Vatican wall, not these days. Now that Britney
Spears has raised (lowered?) the bar on scandal, Madonna's dirtiest
records cound cute, not hazardous. But it's fun to hear her
negotiate the contours of Top 40 pop for the first time since Like
a Prayer, without any European house music hose-head gumming up the
pleasure and catharsis with meditative schmaltz.
Timberland and Pharrell could have used their standard off-kilter
bass-drum thump and skanking acoustic strums to give Madonna the
same safe-to-slutty makeover Timberland gave Nelly Furtado. But
respect for her orginality won out, and they invoke bubbly electro
synths of early Madonna and the squishy grooves of early-'80s Price/
Rick James funk to invent slinky, playful music with undercurrents
of adorable psychosexual intrigue.
In updated renditions of her girlishly predatory prime, she relishes
the "Super Feak" bass nookie on "Give It 2 Me," chases down a young
Madonna wannabe going after her man (or maybe her fans) on "She's Not
Me" and hawks her reconstituted hotness on a title track that's her
take on glucose-tolerant pop-rap like 50 Cent's "Candy Shop."
There's some corniness: on "Spanish Lessons," she takes the MILF theme
too far by primising to nail us if we do our homework; and "Beat Goes
On" has Kanye West's laziest self-brownnosing cameo ever. But these
are minor bumps on the road to bench-pressing some Brazilian bar-back
in an alley behind the club while ignoring Guy Ritchie's IT's 4
BLEEDING AM. WHERE R U? TEST MESSAGES.
The record ends with two stormy, suggestive Timberland tracks: "Devil
Wouldn't Recognize You," which sounds like "Cry Me a River" slow
orchestral hip-hop complete with rainstorm and midnight church bells
and Justin moaning something about masters and slaves while Madonna
moans something about hanging on ledges and how well she once moved
and may yet move again. they're tortured; they're hot. they push
Madonna's love back over a border-line it seemed she'd never see again.
--
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04/09 20:53, 1F
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