PTT偶像團體區 / BCumberbatch (Benedict Cumberbatch - 班尼迪克·康柏拜區)

[心得] 我的Sherlock劇本

看板BCumberbatch (Benedict Cumberbatch - 班尼迪克·康柏拜區)作者jamielo時間11年前 (2013/12/26 09:13)推噓4(4推 0噓 3→)

留言7則, 5人參與討論串1/1

應觀眾要求來貼劇本因為明年才比賽所以如果有人要轉請先跟我說>< 很長哦 Sherlock Holmes: A Scandal In Bohemia Scene One (Gunshots) (SHERLOCK is bored. He’s curled up on the sofa, firing a pistol at the wall. JOHN bursts into the room, apparently annoyed.) JOHN: What the HELL are you--- SHERLOCK: Bored. Bored. BORED!!! (A frenzy of gunshots, JOHN ducks for cover) MRS. HUDSON: (emerging with some letters in hand) Boys! Letters! (Takes a look around) Oh, Sherlock, what have you done to my bloody walls? JOHN: Destroying them, apparently. He hasn’t been out of his room in... Six days? SHERLOCK: Five and a half...(Sits up abruptly, tears open a letter)(Disgustedly) Bluebell the glowing rabbit. Boring. (Mocking a woman’s voice) “Mr. Holmes, I think my husband is having an affair” Yes, he is. Boring. (Pauses) Ah. This one is unsigned and undated. No one does that. John, have a look. JOHN: (Takes letter and reads) “Will visit your flat at 8PM” A bit hasty, it’s a quarter to eight! (Looks at his fingers) The ink smears... SHERLOCK: Fountain pen. JOHN: Weird choice of paper... SHERLOCK: Art paper bought at a boutique, costs two pounds per pack or more. MRS. HUDSON: (off scene) Boys! You’ve got a visitor! (The KING appears, wearing a mask and apparently frazzled worried) KING: Good evening, Mr. Holmes. I am Count von Kramm, and I am here to consult you on a most delicate matter. This gentleman is...?(Motions at JOHN) SHERLOCK: Doctor John Watson, my flat-mate and colleague. KING: (suspiciously) Ah, I see...live-in...assistant? SHERLOCK: Nope, John’s more than that, He’s...we’re...he’s my friend. KING: I may have to ask Mr. Watson to leave, then. As I said, this matter is extremely secretive and my employer would like to keep it confidential. SHERLOCK: If he leaves, I leave. Now do us all a favor, sit down and stop lowering the IQ of the entire street. KING: (Glares) All right then. My employer is an important man... SHERLOCK: You mean yourself, Your Majesty. YOU are the King of Bohemia, why attempt to hide that? When you walked in, I noticed that you wore boots with royal engravings. Your peculiar sense of dress is indeed Bohemian, but overtly so, suggesting a man with an inflated ego, eager to show off despite his disguise as a servant. But it was the sheer size of your bottom that led me to the conclusion. One simply cannot have an arse that size without sitting in a royal throne all day long. KING: Very well! (He is pissed off) “I” recently got into some trouble with Irene Adler, my secret lover before I became King. We broke up a few years ago and now I am getting married to a boring woman. JOHN: Let me guess---Miss Adler has intimate photos of you, and is now blackmailing Your Majesty for some reason? KING: Correct. I really need your help, Mr. Holmes. If Irene sends the photos to the press, I’ll be ruined! You have to get it back for me! (Breaks down sobbing) Scene Two Narrator: The next morning Sherlock set out for a little walk in the streets of London. The King had left him with Irene’s address and he’s determined to uncover the mysteries of the woman who fooled the King. (The Plaza. Paul is by his cab, loitering and doing nothing. Sherlock walks over to greet him and chat a bit. On the far side is Briony lodge.) SHERLOCK: (Waves at PAUL) Hey, Paul! Are you still driving cabs these days? PAUL: Sherly old boy! Of course I am, but business is getting worse by the day. Everyone’s got his or her own car now. SHERLOCK: That’s unfortunate. Tell me, do you know of a lady named Irene Adler? She lives at Briony Lodge right there. PAUL: Why! She’s a celebrity! Do you live under a rock or something, Sherlock? Every cabbie in London is her fan! She’s a pop singer and a Playboy model. How can you not know her? Too bad she’s taken. She has a lawyer boyfriend. SHERLOCK: I see. Why are all these people crowding up by Briony Lodge? PAUL: Ah, that’s because Ms. Adler is about to return from her morning jog! SHERLOCK: I can’t believe this---all cabbies? PAUL: Not just cabbies. The entire population of London men is here. Wanna watch? SHERLOCK: ...Sure... Scene Three NARRATOR: They waited and waited but Irene was nowhere to be seen. All of the men left disappointedly. Sherlock, too, started back for Baker Street. However, an extraordinary event happened along the way. (Along the way. SHERLOCK walking by the church.) GODFREY: You! Yes you in the long black coat! SHERLOCK: (turns, sort of) GODFREY: Thank God, you’ll do! Come on in! SHERLOCK: Do what? Where? (Gets pulled into the church) MINISTER: This couple here is getting married. They need a witness. Are you willing to help them out, sir? SHERLOCK: What, okay. MINISTER: Godfrey Norton, will you have this woman to be thy lawful wedded wife, to live together after God’s ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony? GODFREY: I do. MINISTER: Irene Adler, will you have this man to be thy lawful wedded husband, to live together after God’s ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony? IRENE: I do. MINISTER: I pronounce you husband and wife. Mr. Norton, you may now kiss the bride. (Plays wedding march. GODFREY kisses IRENE) IRENE: Thank you so much Sir! Godfrey let’s go! (Runs away with GODFREY fast) SHERLOCK: That was...fast... MINISTER: I wonder what the rush is...(circles his stomach implying something) Scene Four Narrator: After his morning adventures, Sherlock returned to Baker Street, had lunch, and told John all about his plans to retrieve Irene's incriminating photograph. Maybe not all parts of the plan, as Sherlock had always been quite a mysterious man. (At Baker Street) SHERLOCK: John. I need you to help me with this. JOHN: Nope. Sorry. Date with Mary. SHERLOCK: Please. JOHN: A date with Mary, Sherlock! I do have a life outside Baker Street in case you haven't noticed, you can't just go me me me and not care about that! SHERLOCK: Please. Look, I even said "please". JOHN:(long meaningful look at Sherlock) Fine. What do you want me to do? SHERLOCK: (grins) Nothing much. Maybe break a few laws, nothing much really. JOHN: Uh, we're breaking into Briony Lodge? That's impossible. Nope. SHERLOCK: Not you, me. I'll be legally escorted into the house. All you need to do is to set off the fire alarm. When I send you a signal, send some smoke up and shout "Fire!" Then back off into the crowd. I'll join you in ten minutes. JOHN: That would be two felonies on my count. SHERLOCK: Mm. I'll bail you out if I need to. Get dressed. Scene Five (At the plaza. John looks at Sherlock's disguise) JOHN: Really? You're going there disguised as a vicar? SHERLOCK: It's so overt, it's covert. (The crowd gathers around Briony Lodge. Irene walks into the scene elegantly, some sort of argument is started) THUG 1: Oy! That's my spot! THUG 2: Get lost. Want a fight, eh? Wanna fight? Let's fight! CROWD: Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! (Lots of people join in...the chants drone on...) (IRENE attempts to walk through the crowd, SHERLOCK rushes in to protect her but he gets knocked down by all those fighting people. The crowd suddenly becomes silent.) LADY 1: Oh dear! THUG 3: He's dead! LADY 2: No, he's still breathing! IRENE: What are you doing there? Someone carry him inside NOW! (Many thugs rush up to pick SHERLOCK up) IRENE: Nope. I know what you men are thinking. Just two. (SHERLOCK gets dragged into the house and laid on the sofa) NURSE: Are you alright, sir? Do you need a hospital? SHERLOCK: No...no..I'm fine(coughs) Air! Please...open the (coughs) windows… (Nurse flings the windows open) SHERLOCK: Thank you...that's much better...(pants) (JOHN sees SHERLOCK's signal, produces a newspaper and lights it. Lots of smoke. He raises it up to the smoke sensor. Sirens started blaring) JOHN: FIRE!!! CROWD: FIRE!!! (The crowd dissipates fast, leaving JOHN standing on the plaza. Meanwhile IRENE turns to a hidden cupboard above the fireplace, frantically trying to open it. SHERLOCK, seeing this, slips away from the house to join JOHN and run away) Scene Six (Baker Street. SHERLOCK and JOHN sip tea in the living room, waiting for the KING) JOHN: Where's the photo? SHERLOCK: I don't have it, but I know where it is. Thought the King would like to snatch it back with his very own hands. JOHN: I don’t understand. SHERLOCK: Irene showed me where it is. (The KING enters) SHERLOCK: Ah, Your Majesty. KING: Do you have it? SHERLOCK: I think it would be better if you retrieved it yourself, Your Majesty. I now know where Irene hid the photograph. KING: How is that possible? I've sent all my best spies and agents searching for it. They all failed! The photo simply cannot be in Briony Lodge! SHERLOCK: Your men-and you- are idiots. Idiots never know where to look. JOHN: Sherlock! SHERLOCK: Oh, and by the way, Miss Adler is now married to a gentleman named Godfrey Norton. KING: What? Why? I… JOHN: Consider that a blessing. If she loves Mr. Norton then she doesn’t love Your Majesty. If she doesn’t love Your Majesty she’ll probably never mention the photograph again. Surely that’s a blessing. KING: (Frazzled)But the photograph...how am I supposed to get it back? SHERLOCK:Why don't you come with us and have a look? I know where it is, Irene showed me when John set the fire alarm off. People always grab for their most prized possessions under danger. A mother would go for the baby and a hacker the laptop. Irene, on the other hand, would go straight for the photograph. Now, we haven’t much time to lose. Let’s go! Scene Seven (They arrive at Briony Lodge. MRS. TURNER opens the door) MRS. TURNER: Mr. Sherlock Holmes, I believe? SHERLOCK: I am Mr. Holmes. MRS. TURNER: My mistress told me you were likely to pay a visit. She left earlier this evening with her husband for France. SHERLOCK: You mean she has left England?! MRS. TURNER: Never to return. KING: And the photograph? All is lost! SHERLOCK: We shall see. (SHERLOCK rushes into the room, opens the little cabinet and pulls out a letter and a photo. The KING rushes over and takes the photo, only to find that it isn’t the one he’s looking for. ) (SHERLOCK rips the letter open) (IRENE appears on the scene, standing at somewhere high and wearing a veil. Create an aura of mysteriousness and let the audience understand that she’s a mental imagery reading the letter) IRENE: MY DEAR MR. SHERLOCK HOLMES, You really did it very well. You took me in completely. Until after the alarm of fire, I had not a suspicion. But then, when I found how I had betrayed myself, I began to think. I had been warned against you months ago. I had been told that if the King employed an agent it would certainly be you. And your address had been given to me. Yet, with all this, you made me reveal what you wanted to know. Well, I then started for the Temple to see my husband. We both thought the best resource was to escape, when pursued by so formidable an antagonist; so you will find the nest empty when you call to-morrow. As to the photograph, your client may rest in peace. I love and am loved by a better man than he. I keep it only to safeguard myself, and to preserve a weapon which will always secure me from any steps which he might take in the future. I leave a photograph which he might care to possess; and I remain, dear Mr. Sherlock Holmes, Very truly yours, IRENE NORTON (IRENE fades away) KING: What a woman---Oh! What a woman! She would have made such a terrific Queen! SHERLOCK: (coldly) I apologize. (The KING and JOHN both look at SHERLOCK in amazement) SHERLOCK: I apologize. For not bringing this case a successful conclusion. KING: Don’t be. Irene is a woman who keeps her promises. The photograph is now as safe as if it were in a fire. SHERLOCK: I do have a small request though, Your Majesty. KING: Name it! I’ll give you anything! SHERLOCK: I would like to have that photograph of Irene. KING: Of course! I’m not keeping it, since I’m about to get married! SHERLOCK: Thank you, then, and goodbye. (SHERLOCK turns and walks away. JOHN follows) Scene Eight (Baker Street. SHERLOCK fiddles with the photograph while JOHN types away on his laptop.) SHERLOCK: Stop it, John, it’s annoying. JOHN: I’m typing, for God’s sake. Do you mind?! SHERLOCK: I know you’re typing up the King’s case. I also know that you’ve given it a cheap and flashy title---”A Scandal in Bohemia”? That sucks, and you’re not posting it online anyways. The King would send people to kill you if the word gets out. JOHN: But the readers want to know you’re human, Sherlock. SHERLOCK: Why would anyone want to be human? Human is mundane. Human is boring. Forget it, John. Let’s have dinner. 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